The Swerve

Alright, So here’s the story:

I was sitting at home one day, humbly minding my own business, and peacefully watching “Green Acre’s” when all of a sudden just as Arnold the pig informed Mr. Drucker that Mr. Douglas had parked in the spot where he (Arnold of course) usually parks his bicycle MegaLongCat comes storming into my house, yelling and shouting in some far off language, (I think it was some weird cross between Manhattanese and the lower half district of Jersey city with a bit of Creole and Jamaican tossed in just to confuse me).

“Christoph hajuba relief check Wall-street discount seafood ‘mon!’” he exclaimed.

Which translated of course means “Hey whats up man? Let’s go party it up!”

Of course I told him I was much too busy to “party it up” as he called it, for I was trying to solve this conundrum of how a Arnold, being a pig and all, was able to ride a bicycle.

To make a long story short, Megalongcat handed me this package and said you should really check this out. The package read “swerve.” Apparently it was the worlds best neck hair remover. I wondered if he was trying to give me a hint, and then I wondered why he cared so much about my neck hair.

The answer of course was sewn into the fact that I probably the hairiest back and neck region (next to our barbarian friend Mageta the Bunny Pillager also known as Mageta Terrorizer of Kittens and Other Tiny Beings,  as well as the Dreadful Swain Train of Pain)

So I said ok, why not i will try it out. Megalongcat said “No, no, no, I want you to review it, take a look at it, tell me what you think, and then post it up.”

By this point in our conversation, however, I finally determined that Arnold must have been using a tricycle as that would have been the only way his feet could reach the pedals. (But then I wondered why they would have called it a Bicycle in the show, which is now still causing me trouble to this very day).

[Images from http://www.theswerve.com/]

I took the Swerve out of it’s box and I gave it the once over trying to figure out how to use it.It was not until I pulled out and read the instructions that I fully understood.

I decided that in order to test it, I must compare it to other razors. I mean why buy something that you already have.

[Images from http://www.razorspares.com]

The first razor I tried out was a Mach 3 due to the fact that both had 3 blades and lubricant and what not. It was definitely troublesome trying to shave the neck area. I had to hold up another mirror to angle myself in the right position to see where and what I was shaving. After clumsily falling over myself and several minutes of frustration I got everything settled and started to shave.

Ow..Ow…Ow… you know how if you let your beard get somewhat long and then try to shave it with a razor how the hair kind of gets pulled out and your skin hates you for awhile. Yeah that’s what happened. It was difficult trying to shave normally which is from the top to bottom, so I had to shave against the grain, which on the chin is fine, but on the back of the neck it is a bit of a pain. Well, the shave went alright, and I hacked my back up fairly well. Now all I had to do was wait for the hair to grow back.

So several weeks and many episodes of Green Acre’s later it grew back to a point I deemed reasonable enough to attempt a shave. For the next test I used the same type of razor, however, I used the Fusion with 5 blades and vibration (I don’t know if that actually does anything but it makes you feel like it does). I had some of the same issues, such as the mirror, and the angling, but overall it was a much smoother and better shave than the 3 bladed. It was a lot less painful.

So now I thought to myself as I waited for the hair on my neck to grow back, how will the Swerve fair? It seems like it’s design may be more accommodating, but with only three blades will it hold up?

Well, the hair has grown back and I have just shaved with the Swerve. To my surprise it actually worked very well and I was able to get to more places then I thought…I mean…yeah holding the mirror was still tricky…but overall it was able to stand up to the 5 blade and out maneuver it. I think it works fairly well.

With all three of the razors  I used though, the clean up sucked. Neck hair and shaving cream all over the floor. I also felt kind of stupid. However, if you want to shave your neck this is the tool to do it with. I honestly do not know how it works on the back because shaving your back seems to be more trouble than it is worth (I would just Nair that if I had too). This on the other hand seems like a great way to trim down the neckline a bit when used in between haircuts. The design really makes it easy to use, much easier than I thought it would be.

The Prices Range from $4.99 for a single and $12.99 for a three-pack; both of which can be purchased from their website www.theswerve.com

~FlakHound